Paging Ben Barnes

It's Saturday lunch and my poor unfortunate sister is once again the center of attention.  She's pretty, a doctor, little kids love her, she's very smart, is funny and yet inexplicably,  is still unattached.   Since she's 32, my mom and dad have been paying very unhealthy attention to her social life lately.  

Dad             : So did X (a persistent admirer) call you?

Sister           : (Scowls at the poor, blameless, unoffending plate of food in front of her)

(Meanwhile Ron tries to not to laugh and envisions the impending fireworks)

Dad           :  So did he call you?

Sister         :  (Exasperated) Yes, yes he did. I wish he wouldn't.

Dad           :   E bakit e makikipag-usap lang naman.

Sister         :   Ano papag-usapan namin? We really have nothing to talk about.

Dad            :  Well if you talked to him, you might find something to talk about.
Ron            :   It's ok Beng. I get it. I support Beng.
Miscen to Ron :  Sip sip!

Miscen       :   Dad, let it go. Baka they have nothing in common and she just doesn't find him cute.

Sister         :   (Rolls her eyes)

Mom          :   Aba, hindi pwede yung basta cute! Aanuhin mo ng guapo nga tapos wala namang trabaho.  Ano ang magyayari sa yo? Paano kung  guapo nga tapos papaglabahin ka naman! Sa  palagay mo ba magiging maganda ka pa rin kung sampung taon ka ng naglalaba?

Ron            :  Tama ka mommy te.
                     Miscen! Mag-laba ka!

Beng          :  Mommy, hindi lahat ng guapo ptoor. At hindi lahat ng pangit mayaman. 

Miscen       :  Oo nga mommy, si Ben Barnes guapo yon! At siguro naman may washing machine sila!

(Mommy does not find this funny. Leaves the table.) 

End of lunch.

When we were growing up, my very smart parents (who knew their daughters very well) had a very simple, yet effective strategy to make us stay on the path of the straight and narrow. 

In the case of my dad, he spoiled us to the best of his resources and abilities - always with the aim of making sure that when we grew up we would not be easily impressed by some guy in a nice car or who took us to a fancy restaurant.  He had to live up to and well, surpass the standards set by dad. And it case that failed, there was always brainwashing --- let's not forget the immortal maxim  : "Boys in motorcycles smell bad anak. Don't go out with them."

All this was done in tandem with my mother who for her part, emphasized how horrible it would be to young, married, jobless, penniless and (gasp) pregnant. "Maglalaba ka!",  followed by "Sanay ka ba maglaba?!!",  "Paano kung buntis ka na, makakapaglaba ka pa ba?"   and  "Kaya mo bang mabuhay mag-isa? Kung wala si yaya?"

Now given all of that, it was the clear and the obvious choice to just behave and stay in the nice, safe,comfortable cocoon at home with mommy and daddy?

This strategy worked very well. I think too well, as a matter of fact - I didn't get married until I was 34 and as mentioned, my sister still hasn't gotten married.

 

So the point of all this is (and yes, there IS a point) that I think people should just leave her alone. (And I promise, starting tomorrow to never ever discuss her love life with her ever again.)  She's happy as she is, she has a career that she likes, she gets enough "baby time" with Tempest when she feels motherly (with the convenience of being able to return said baby when the urge has passed) , she answers to no one (except Mom) and her room is always spotless! 

And I realize that  maybe, she doesn't WANT to get married.  Or at least not yet.

Even without having to do the laundry, marriage is not exactly the easiest thing in the world.  I know so many miserable married people - a lot them used to be my clients. After all of the nullity of marriage cases I've handled, I'm truly amazed and in awe of  couples who have managed to make their marriages work for decades.  Like my mom and dad. So I guess, this is why they keep bugging my sister to get married - because they have such a happy marriage themselves.

The one thing I've realized is this : Marriage is something you commit to everyday. Not just on your wedding day. Every single day you wake up, every time your spouse does something gross like burp in your face, or something irritating like leave her dirty clothes all over the floor, or messes up or gets caught cheating on you, you have make the commitment again.  Do you really want to wake up next to this person until your toes turn up and your heart turns off?  Can you really love her forever, even after she removes all the camouflage..er..make up?    You DECIDE to stay married and to love this person, even if they have turned back into the frog they were prior to all the kissing business.

In conclusion (and since I'm not starting the abstinence regarding Beng's love life until tomorrow ) does anyone know Ben Barnes? I know a girl I'd like him to meet....