The Lazy Girl's Guide to (Non)Fitness

So when I announced over dinner that not only would I revive my blog, but that I would start by writing about fitness, several things happened simultaneously:

1. There was a collective silence followed by a burst of laughter and serious disbelief from  majority of family, yayas included (despite the fact they are completely aware who pays their salary...); 
2. My sister choked on her from laughing so hard and
3. My ever supportive husband tried to encourage me but the effect was spoiled by his uncontrollable snickering.

Welcome to my life.

 

Just so you know, I blame this all on my office.  Well...the office's Annual Physical Examination that is.

At one APE, I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic, overweight and with a cholesterol level way south of normal.   Being thoroughly Accenturized, I respond better to --- well, anything really – if I can measure my metrics.  And apparently, this goes for exercise as well.  My boss then gave me one of those fitness bands that counts how many steps you take in one day and in true metric-driven form, my competitive side kicked in and jumpstarted my now, semi-active, life.

Every one knows that I am the laziest person in the world when it comes to exercise and I will find every excuse in the book not to do it – everything from “I stayed up late working so I deserve to sleep in…”  or  “The baby will wake up if I get up to exercise and she needs her sleep…” (despite the fact that the "baby" is actually 7 years old now and wakes up earlier than me) to the tried and tested “It looks like there is a chance of rain soon..”

I am  sooooo extremely lazy that on my ultra lazy days, a rock has better chances of getting up and exercising that I do.   Sometimes, the only thing that gets me up in the morning is the thought that if I walk often enough, I can buy new pretty running shoes…

However, there are certain little things I can share with you that helped me get out of my rut.

1. Don’t go all Arnold Schwarzenegger. In other words, have realistic goals and don’t overdo anything.  I have so many friends who went all gung ho on the exercise bit – running 5 km every morning, going to the gym everyday.  And this was great.  While it lasted. And that was for about a month until they burned out and stopped completely. As in everything else in life, moderation is the key.  Start small, do little things you can sustain for the long term.
2. Baby steps are good.  When I first started with the pedometer, it recommended that I walk 10,000 steps a day.  I took one look at that recommendation and laughed. And then I decided that if this plan had any hope of success, I would have to set my goals a bit more realistically – hence, I started with 5,000 steps. Eventually, I brought it up to the 10,000 steps (after several months) but the point is, if I had allowed myself to be daunted by the initial goals, I would never have started at all. Which brings me to my next point…
3. A little exercise is better than zero exercise.  Everyone used to tell me “You have to do at least 30 minutes”  or  “You don’t burn anything unless you do cardio…”  And what I’ll tell you is – ignore them. All these rules are fine if you are already someone who’s fit or who already exercises.  But for a newly unearthed couch potato – wouldn’t you agree that five minutes of exercise is better than zero exercise?  Do what you can to start with and grow from there.  
4. Every little bit counts.  When I was obsessively monitoring my pedometer, I realized that we overlook how much activity we can do in a normal day without having to break out the running shoes or the gym clothes.  So now, I park at the space farthest away from the exit (plus 200 steps! Yay!), I attend my meetings face to face and walk to the conference room instead of sitting in my office taking a call,  I set an alarm on my phone for every thirty minutes so that I can get up and walk around the 19^th floor., I walk short distances instead of taking the car and when my little daughter wants to play outside, I force myself to get up away from the computer and go with her.  An email can wait but a heart attack won’t.
5. Cheat on your food.  Diets never work with me as I have a love affair with food that will never ever die. So I just cheat.  Order what you want but have the waiter doggie bag for take-out half your food before he even serves you.  Order a kid sized meal instead of a full adult meal. Or like me, when having a meal out, pick the friend that eats the least in your group and stop eating when he or she does (Joyce Guirnalda is perfect for this).  Eat the main course you want but skip dessert.  Or skip the main course and have dessert! J For me, when I feel deprived I end up gorging myself.  So the goal is to trick my inner glutton into thinking that I can actually eat whatever I want. 
6. And lastly – be kind to yourself.   You’re not going to turn into Cara Delavigne after a week or even a month – heck, I’ve been exercising for a year and I still look round.  But it’s a start!  So after a year of walking, I still haven’t lost the thirty pounds, but my cholesterol is better.  I’ll never fit into a size 4 again but my sugar levels are under control. 

My favorite is the last learning -  I have to love myself and be kind to myself.  Flaws and all.  The cellulite is from all the wonderful meals I’ve shared with friends and family.  The stretchmarks and the poufy tummy were from delivering two wonderful babies. 

And the big arms? They’re there to hug (or punch, as the case may be) anyone who needs one. 

 

A few months back, someone commented to me “You mean you’ve been exercising for a year? But you don’t look like you’ve lost any weight!”   (It is a testament to my self-control, and also my knowledge that murder will land me in jail, that this person is still alive.) 

So I smiled sweetly and said, “My goal was not to be skinny, my goal was to not die young.”  And when you have two little kids, isn’t that a good plan?