The Pie That Ate The Galaxy
(Or “Quiche Malunggay ala Miscen”)
It seemed so simple. “Easiest Pie Crust Recipe” it said. Only 10 minutes prep time! “Even my five year old can use this recipe!” the blurb assured me.
And fool I am. I believed it.
And this is why on what would have been a nice, balmy Monday afternoon, I found my myself peering anxiously into a hot oven, invoking the kitchen spirits to look favorably upon my latest experiment which is currently turning into a weird greenish –brownish color oddly reminiscent of combat fatigues – which are well and good if you’re fighting the Abu Sayaff but which is not so good when looking at food you are cooking.
Earlier, the pressure mounted when no less than all three of the adult members of my family anxiously asking if they should start ordering take–out as dinner was fast approaching and the amorphous blob of dough on the kitchen counter in no way, shape or form even remotely resemble the fourth cousin twice removed of the picture on the pie crust recipe I had swiped off of the internet. (Note to self : try not to rely on google too much when feeding family.)
Or rather, Ron and my sister suggested the take-out. My mom just quietly went to the freezer and took out a packet of pork chops which she handed to the (relieved-that-she-would-have-normal-food) maid.
(Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence Mom! And you too Yaya, you traitor!)
And then there was my beloved daughter, who took one look at the baking dish and promptly announced she wanted bacon and rice for dinner.
(I feel sooooo loved and affirmed. Don’t you?)
First of all, there was nothing “EASY” about this pie crust. Except maybe how easy it is to get wrong.
Secondly, the 10 minutes prep time probably applied to people who (a) knew what they were doing in the first place, (b) actually know how to measure “1/3 cup of shortening per 1 ¼ cup of flour” (c) actually OWNED a “sifter” and (d) knew how to use aforementioned “Sifter”. Since none of the above applied to me, that was the longest ten minutes of my life. It actually took more like two hours. Or at least ten days. Or it seemed like it at the time – especially when I was chanting “Please set…please set…please set…” at the oven.
And last but not least, the lady either cloned Julia Child five years ago or his outright lying. If a doctor, two lawyers and teacher cannot get this recipe to work right – the only five year old I know who could have possibly gotten it right would have been Doogie Howser, MD (and he’s fictional).
Further to my previous blog – did I mention that I am still on the quest for a full repertoire of malunggay recipes?
Seeing as how the Meatballs From Mars (ahem) were a success – I decided to push my luck and try a more advanced dish. Five hours later --- Something tells me that I should have tried for an omelette instead.
I’d like to share the Pie That Ate the Galaxy (or at least, my whole afternoon) recipe with you, but there’s a strange burning odor emanating from the kitchen and I have an awful feeling it’s my quiche….
